Fufu

The man made me Fufu the other day. I had never heard of Fufu before I met him. But i have mentioned the name to a few other people since, and they are always like, "yeah, I've heard of it". I was unaware it was so common. I mean, i knew it was common among Africans, but why do so many Americans know about it? Where have I been? Have been hiding under a rock?

Anyways...

This is what i looks like right after it comes out of the pan. It feels like dough in your hands, but tastes kinda like mashed potatoes in you mouth. Its pretty delicious. He eats it several times a week. I can see why. :)

This what is looks like after he made it look pretty...like on the outside of the box.

You eat is with your hands.

Here i am eating it. He made fish that night as well. We also ate that with our hands. :) He yells at me for eating with my left hand. Apparently that is a big no no in Africa. He tells me that if I go there I can't eat with my left hand with other people around, unless I am using utensils...which they don't use very often.

He taught me how to make it. Next goal...to make it all by my self and have it taste right. :)

Race Pictures

The beginning of the race

The end...finally!

Houston

I went to visit my cousin in Houston last weekend. It was super fun. We went to this super nice mall where we walked thru the store Saks 5th Ave. I just so happen to grab this cardigan that was see-through and clearly meant to accent an outfit. I glanced down at the price tag. I literally almost flipped out.

$798.00!!!!

Yeah, you read that right. I couldn't believe it! An accent piece? Thin and see-through. What is going on in the world? And who can afford that?

We ate at a Spanish restaurant. It was muy deliciosos. I was surprised at how much i liked it. We also ate dessert at an Arabic pastry place. The dessert we ate was called Kunafa. It was delicious as well.

I spent my time with my cousin Patrick, his wife Keena, and

her sister Najla. Houston is so big!!

I really don't know who these last people are. It was just a good picture.

March 5K

One down, eleven to go in 2011.

You know when you go out and run and its good? You go further than you thought and you aren't dying. So you are feeling ambitious. You go out the next day thinking you will run the same amount and long before you get there you are dying, not gonna make it, feel like your legs might fall off. But why? I don't know. I really don't know why you have good running days and bad running days, but it happens...to me. And other people, I guess.

That was my 5k last week. About 3/4 of a mile in, I really started to contemplate quitting. I just really struggled from start to finish. I didn't quit, and I beat my December 5k time. The theme was Mardi Gras. People were wearing masks and beads. I didn't get these beads 'til the end. And thankfully I didn't have to do anything but finish the 5k to get them...if you know what I'm saying. ;)

Valentine's Days of the Past

I hate Valentine's Day. With a passion. In the past my day would consist of me just rolling my eyes, and mumbling under my breath about stupid flowers, people in love, and chocolate. I never had a reason to like it. I know. Im just a bitter girl. I wont deny it. I don't care. Say what you want. I am comfortable with my bitterness.

V-day 2009 was especially horrible for me and reconfirmed my reasons for hating the Day of Love. (no need to expand on why it was so horrible. just trust me.) 2010 wasn't so bad. i mostly forgot about the day. maybe because it was a Sunday, and i like Sundays and didn't see oodles of people receiving presents and signs of affection. I dont know. I thought i was getting better...haha. lets be real.

This year, I told myself i would be fine. i told myself the day would be okay, and i wouldn't care. I probably made it about an hour and a half into being awake before the bitterness started to creep in. On top of that it was a monday, and mondays are never good days. They really are manic. Work is always nuts on mondays and people, like me, were especially in a bad mood on the phone. the last thing i wanted to deal with, right?

(Keep reading, things turn around, promise...)

I took my lunch break around 3pm that day and went tanning so i could get in a quick nap in the bed and relax a little. haha. As i was walking back to my car this guy started talking to me in the parking lot. He was attractive, and seemed to be hitting on me. hmmm.... i didn't pay too much attention though and kept walking. But he just kept talking to me. So i stopped, turned around and walked back to him to see what he could possibly want with me. I had no make-up on. I was a little sweaty from tanning, and probably had an angry look on my face. haha. after talking to him for a few minutes he asked me for my phone number. now, for those of you who know me, this is not the first time a guy has asked me for my number in a completely random public place. Sometimes i say okay. other times, i just tell them no. i'm not afraid to. I don't care. i will never see them again. why should i care if i bruise their egos a little, right? but i felt okay about him. like i said, he was attractive. and had an accent. yeah, love me some accents. so i give him my number. He called me that night after work and asked me out for the following Saturday.

To make a long story short, the last two and a half weeks have been kinda crazy. i have talked to him almost everyday either on the phone, or we have hung out. we have been on a couple dates. he is a complete gentleman and treats me really well. my roommate loves him, and just shook her head when she saw him the first time. She told me the other day i have finally met someone who is up to my caliber. haha. not sure that is true, but I'll take the compliment.

Tonight on the phone he called himself my boyfriend. so i guess i have a boyfriend. :) I mentioned something the other day about how he hit on me for the first time on V-day. He didnt even realize it was Valentine's Day at the time. Pffff...guys...right? its a pretty cute little story, though, and now i finally have a reason to not hate Valentine's Day. Yeaaaaaahh!

His name is Abdoul. He is not from the US (hence the accent previously mentioned). He is originally from Burkina Faso. For those of you who are asking yourself if that is a real place...it is. It is a country in west Africa. No worries, i didn't know either. He is an American citizen as of 7 days ago, as well. He has lived all over the world, mostly Europe (other than Africa), and speaks 7 languages. He is crazy! and i love it!

Way to go Valentine's Day 2011. You rocked my face off this year!

Trust Me...

I think I'm developing trust issues.

As a kid I trusted very few people. My mom, and maybe that is it. There may have been others. I don't really remember. As I got into middle school I began to trust friends, but on a very basic level. Certainly not anyone of the male gender. As I moved into high school, I trusted more people. Friends mostly. In a more personal way probably. But...I was still hesitant. I began to see people moving away, never coming back, and losing touch with them. I also feared that telling people things about my life would result in it backfiring in my face, in a major way. I can't say that it ever really did. Maybe I was good at the game. Maybe there was nothing noteworthy about me to gossip about. I don't really know. Nor does it matter at this point.

I became friends with Jason and Trevor in high school, and for the first time in 10 years, I started to trust guys again. (Thanks guys!)

College began. A whole new world of social activities, dates, all nighters, homework, and classes filled my life. But the small flame of trust I had in guys began to grow dimmer and dimmer. Not because my heart was broken over and over again, or I was publicly humiliated or anything, I was mostly just not noticed. Which was a lot of my own fault. For those of you who don't know this little fact about me, I spent much of my first 18 years of life just trying to disappear. Fit in. Not get noticed. Not get attention. Never get called on or out. I was pro at it. Really. Old habits die hard, right? This lack of attention made me a little bitter and angry though. I didn't realize I had to take some responsibility in that. I used to use phrases like, "all boys are dumb." "i hate guys." It didn't even occur to me that I might be wrong until a good friend called me out in a greenhouse one day. She told me that there were guys out there that were mean, and rude, and selfish, but it wasn't the majority of guys. And that she didn't want to hear me using those phrases again. It occurred to me, for probably the first time in my life, that it was probably true. So in an effort to see the good in guys, and not have this new best friend of mine not hate me, I stopped using those phrases and started thinking of guys more positively. (yea me!)

But wait, I said I am developing trust issues (I'm getting there)...

Since then there have been three guys that have come into my life, that convinced me that I was worth their time. It made me happy. It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I was. The first one, I was just so shocked to get attention that I didn't even know what to do with myself. The second broke my heart in a way that I feared I would never get over, and the third has made me distrust all of the male gender again. And the sick part is I keep letting him back in, in small ways to break my heart all over again. I know he will. And yet somehow I convince myself that the small, short-lived bit of time he makes me smile and feel worthwhile is worth the inevitable heartbreak that will come. But, sometimes that attention feels better than none at all.

I shouldn't be bitter. I shouldn't base all guys on these three. I know this. I am just tainted. And hurt. And feel hopeless sometimes.

The part that has me most worried is that there will someday come some great guy into my life and I will mess it up because all my walls are up. And I'm guarded. And that I won't trust him. And I'll push him away.

Ugh.

So there is where I'm at. No trust.

(I know I promised a few of you that I would stop being bitter a while ago. What can I say? It comes and goes.)

Resolutions

Last year (2010) I had a friend who rated himself on his new years resolutions from the year before on his blog. (I think it was last year.) So I thought it might be fun to try out. This requires me to share what all my resolutions are from last year, and how on some of them I miserably failed, but who even reads my blog anyways? ;)

1.Lose weight

I give myself an F. Yeah, this one I certainly failed at. I'm gonna do better this year. (Hopefully)

2. Run a 5k the whole way

I give myself a C on this one. I did a 5k in December. I know I am a procrastinator. Its true. I didn't run the whole thing. I did it nevertheless. So a passing grade (unless this were an ID class, and then that grade is basically a fail, lol....moving on...)

3. Go on a date

I know this seems like a really simple goal. But I wanted to go on a date where I wasn't the one asking. Which doesn't always happen often. I get an A+ on this one. I asked one guy out this year, and got asked out by two different guys. One was a friend date. The other, a legit date. So, yeah for me!

4. Have a boyfriend

A- I give myself the minus because he wasn't exactly the best person I could have been dating. But...I never specified on my resolutions. So....*shrug*

5. Pay off my credit card debt

Solid B. I paid them off, and kept them paid off for several months, but I have rolling money on one of my credit cards right now. I am trying to save for something expensive and coming up soon. (Nope, I'm not telling you what it is. Its a secret. You will find out soon enough....or before 2011 is over) :)

6. Buy a car

A+ Yeah, I did!! Sooner than I had anticipated, but it happened, and I bought exactly what I wanted and don't regret it, ever!

7. Read my scriptures and pray more consistently

C This always shows up on my lists of things to improve on. I mean, who doesn't have room for improvement, right? I did REALLY good sometimes, and other times, REALLY horrible. So C it is.

8. Read the entire BOM

F I fail at this one too. I started and then skipped around, and restarted, and skipped around some more. But never actually read all the way through. Booo.

9. Go to the temple once a week

B I did really good for most of the year. Then got busy and it fell off, but I have gone to the temple more times in 2010, then in my whole life combined. So that is something to be proud of.

So if I gave myself an overall grade that would average to a D-. Hmmm. I thought I had done better than that. Well usually I fail at all of them. So...progress for me. lol. Sad, but true.

I haven't made this years resolutions yet, but I have some good ones in mind. :) I hope everyone had a good New Year's!