Im feeling inspired lately

He had that look in his eyes. She knew the look well. He smiled making wrinkles at the edges of his light brown eyes and around his mouth. Those were always her favorite features of his face. He took a deep breath and knelt to the ground on one knee. He looked up at her.

She had always imagined this moment. It was perfect. Her breath caught as she looked down at the man she loved with all her heart. He extended his slightly shaky hand. There was a small black velvet box sitting in his palm. A ring sat tucked in its soft fabric. The perfectly cut stone centered on the ring sparkled off the lights of the nearby Christmas tree.

He remembered. It was the ring she had once told him she had always wanted. It was beautiful. There was a large diamond in the center with smaller diamonds on each side set into the band of the ring. The sparkly clear diamonds accented the white gold flawlessly.
“Lucy, I love you. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes moved from the ring to the eyes she knew so well. “I…I…I can’t,” she whispered. She looked up from those disappointed eyes to catch the warm tears before they spilled over. A quiet sob rumbled in her throat.

Lucy’s eyes flashed open. Her breathing came in hammered gasps as she lay in her small bed. She reached up to feel the all too real tears that ran down her face. Not again, she thought.

This is the preface to the story I am writing. I would really love it to be book length by the end, but who knows what will happen. I am about 50 pages in so far. I have had a lot of boy drama over the last year and i am finally turning it into inspiring me to write again. I started this story when I lived in Maine 6 1/2 years ago. I put it down for about 4 years. But I have been slowly making progress over the last 2 years. I hope the beginning catches your attention at least a little. :) maybe it will end up being a good little book. (not that i will every publish it or anything, lol)

blogging

i wish that i remembered how to blog. i really cant think of anything to blog about. plenty (PLENTY!!) has been going on, but not really anything i want to put out there in blogger-land. or anything that is really fun and exciting. Mostly stressful and unfun things have been happening. maybe some of which is my own fault. haha

Anywho, i am going to start blogging again some day, i think. that is the goal anyways. i have lots of goals. lots of which dont ever get done...hmmmm...

well, here's hoping for the best.

Love, Me

oh, and since no good post goes without a pic, here is one of me before a first date i went on that i was super excited about. the date went AMAZING!

too bad it was really just a show he was putting on. and the real him...not amazing. or great. or nice. or respectful. or patient...crap...this is why i dont blog. no one wants to hear all this.

either way, i looked amazing!! :))

Remember that time...

...when I used to blog? Yeah. Me too. Its been almost two months now. I kind of forgot about blogging with all the craziness that has been going on in my life. Which I guess is okay because none of the things going on in my life, that have made it crazy, are things i really wanna blog about.

So...I here is what I will tell you about.

I did P90X today for the first time! Chest and Back. And I totally rocked it. I mean I was totally sweating and working hard. I think over the hour workout I did 200 pushups, 30 pull ups (with help) and lots of other various arm stuff. ANNNNNNDDDD...that was my second workout for today. I worked out with my PT this morning. We did squats and other leg machines. You know that point when you are working out that your legs (arms, or whatever you are working) feel like jello? well, I passed that point this morning. At one point I told him that I couldn't feel them anymore. I looked down to make sure they were still there. and they were. but i couldn't feel them at all. He just smiled. I think he gets enjoyment out of my suffering. lol

but seriously!

And on another note, I am writing more of my story. I wrote a pretty amazing first kiss scene. haha Get excited!!

4th of July

Happy Independence Day America. I had a three day weekend. Like most people. I don't usually get my three day weekends because they always want us to work. So I was excited.

On Friday night I went to Lori's birthday party at a friend's house. Good food and good friends. What more can you ask for in an evening? :)

Saturday i mostly bummed around and then went with Bre to Winstar. It is a casino in Oklahoma. I went in with a small amount of money to play with. I lost it all, but i supposed i expected that. We didnt get home til 6 am. It was fun.

Church on Sunday, and then a very long nap afterwards.

Monday (today) i started to pack my apartment and did soooooooo much laundry. Like, so much. It is all piled on my bed. Now the goal is to fold it all before it give up and throw it all on the floor. I should really stop that. Tonight I went to a pool party at my bishop's house and then we went to see fireworks. We were so close to the fireworks. They were right over us and we could see where they were lighting them. Awesome!

I hope everyone's 4th was fabulous!

The last Two Weeks

The last two weeks have been NUTS!! Seriously. So good. And sooooo bad.

Lets recap.

I made my parents their anniversary gift, which seriously stressed me out. I took it to the party and overall I would say it turned out pretty good.

Abdoul and I broke up. Im back in the LDS world as a single person again. Which kinda makes me wanna kill myself sometimes.

On vacation, I flew to Indiana and my brother picked me up. I got to hang out with him and Erica for a couple of days. We ran around Cincinnati and went to a Reds baseball game. That was fun. The evening had super great weather.

View of Cincinnati from their back porch. Pretty great view, eh?

At the Reds game. They WON!

The party was on Saturday. I was kind of stressed out that day. But Trevor and his gf Rabita drove me around and helped me set up the decorations. Which was super nice of them.

The party started and a ton of people showed up. Way more than RSVPed. Which was okay. I think we had about 75 or

so. We had cake and punch, catered food, and alcohol. Rigel Jackson was the photographer and she did a wonderful job. (See fb album) My parents were truly surprised. They had no idea I was in town or that there was a party at all. It was great. There were people at the party from Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, Louisiana, and Texas. I really couldnt have asked for it to go better. I would say it was perfect!

I spent a few more days at home and hung out with some people I hadnt seen in a while. It was good. Nice to sleep in and not have to worry about work stuff or the regular day to day things.

Trevor and I at a bagel place. Trevor is a mess. haha.

I am back in Texas. I went to a concert at the horse racing track with Breanna. It was pretty fun. The Eli Young Band. They sing country music.

I also watched the NBA finals at a sports bar the other night and met someone. Yeah, thats right, I met a guy.

This is how i looked that night! :)

I am sooooooo not the type of girl that can move from one guy to the next and not even miss a beat. Not even a little bit. I have always envied those girls but that has never been my life or my story, so I was just as surprised as all of you that I met someone. I guess i was the one who initiated the flirting (from a distance. you know, a quick smile, a raised eyebrow, etc). But he was the one who approached me after a while. We chatted for about two and a half hours actually. He is super nice, and funny, and laughs at lots of things i say. Ya know, sounds pretty typical of flirting when you first meet someone. He got my number and asked when he could see me again.

He ended up coming over a few days later to hang out. He was here for a few hours. It was fun. I am not sure that we are quite a right fit for each other. Even for dating. As i get to know him more, I just dont see it. Not that there is anything wrong with him, I just think Abdoul is still too fresh in my mind. I thought i was fine. I was completely over it. I felt good. Haven't been crying since before i met this new guy. I have no regrets with Abdoul, or feel like I shouldn't have ended things. Buuuuuut, as I am getting out there, everything that happens either reminds me of Ab or reminds me of how different it is than how Ab would do it, or say it. So, I just dont think I have really moved on as much as I thought.

But I can honestly say that I have been giving it a good effort to move on. And that is a lot more than I can say for any other past relationships of mine.

Other than that, I have been working out a lot. I have been hanging out with my friend Breanna a lot. I have a few new projects that I am going to be working on. (get excited!!) A mama cat had 6 baby kittens on my back patio while I was on vacation. They are pretty cute. Annnnd I just bought a pair of jeans from Old Navy today for $0.87. Get it!!

Life is pretty good. :)

21.2

For those of you who don't know, I turned 21 again yesterday. People asked me all day how old I turned, and I just felt like 21 was probably a good answer. So here we go again! Bring it on 21! Bring it on!

I really did have a great birthday! Here is what I did, just in case you were dying to know (I'm guessing not, haha). I woke up. Cleaned my apartment (it was seriously nasty). I went and got a pedicure. Fabulous! I went and picked up The Man. We ran a few errands. Then he took me to On The Border to eat. After seeing the kind of humiliation they inflicted on someone else with a birthday yesterday (with loud singing and clapping and yelling) we decided it was best to not tell them it was my bday. Then we went back to my apartment and chilled out for a bit. Let our overly full bellies rest.

We then headed over to Main Event (it is a place where you can bowl, play pool, shuffle board, play acarde games, eat, watch sports, etc) where a bunch of my friends had gathered to hang out and wish me a happy birthday. Ab and I bowled four games, i think. He beat me every time. One of the games he only beat me by one point. But he told me beforehand that his goal was to at least beat me. He didnt care if everyone else beat us, but he wasn't coming in last. haha. and he did. Other people played pool. It was a really good night and we had fun. I got to finally show off my man, which i was seriously stoked about. To every person i introduced him to, I announced him as, "this is my BOYFRIEND, Abdoul." Haha. i am silly. i know, but at least i embrace it, right? One of my friends/church buddy, came up to me after she met him, and was like... "Alllllllison....okay, but really. He is. He is just...(pause)" I was like, "I know. He is sexy!" and she was like, "Yeeeeeeeeah!" lol. Love it! But anyways, we had fun. Ab said that he had fun. He fell asleep in the car when i was driving him home. I guess I wore him out.

Either way, it ranks up there with my top few birthdays even though it was pretty low key. Holla'!

Alex

Dewey

Brandon, Suzanne, Lori, Lynette

Lori

Virgil and Justin in the back, Natalie and Alex in the middle, and Keith in the front!

And finally!!!! A good pic of me and the man! I am a little sweaty, but still a great photo! Looooove this kid! :)

Stock Yards

I went to the Fort Worth Stock Yards. I have been once before, but this time it was really busy. And super humid. I didn't stay long. But at the stock yards they have cattle that they move from place to place so you can see them, and cowboys and cowgirls on horses. Everyone is decked out. You can ride a horse drawn carriage. There are lots of shops where you can buy anything with the word "Texas" on it. You can also buy cowboy hats and little trinkets. There are places to eat and bars. It is all around pretty fun. I took a few pictures. Everything is all the stereotypes that you think of for Texas! :)

This guy is by far my favorite!! I mean check out that stance he has. He knows he's got this (whatever "this" is). Cigarette is hanging out of his mouth. Soooooo Texas! HAHA! loved him!