A Promise

The other day I referenced to a story about the Sister Missionaries here.  It is a story about how they made me a promise and how it changed my entire life!  It's a cute little story and so I decided I would share.

Now, if I can only decide how much back story to give.  I tend to give too much.  Hmmm...

Well, let me start off here:

When I was 15-ish years old I started to investigate my church.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  A church which, at the time, I was not yet a member.

The Book of Mormon (the foundation of the Church) asks us to pray and ask God to know of it's (the BOM and Church) truthfulness and God will answer.

I did that.  Many, many, many, many times.  And I received no answer.

I was puzzled.  I thought, well if it were wrong I would get a no, right?  So not getting any answer just means I have to keep trying, yeah?

But time was moving on and I was still getting nothing.  Hmmm...

Frustration set in.  Dark thoughts of how I wasn't worthy or good enough crept in.  Thoughts of how this was all for nothing and I would never get an answer rolled around in my head.

I started to ask people what they thought.  They gave me many different answers that ranged anywhere from "if you feel good about the Church you should just move forward to baptism" to "have more faith" to "just keep asking, it will come."  These are all good answers.  I don't dispute any of them.  I am sure they are the right answers for some people, but for me, I needed something concrete.  Something I could hold on to.  I didn't know it at the time, but needing this and eventually getting it would be one of the most powerful and most sustaining witnesses of my life (to date).

Honestly, I can think of no other time in my life where I have felt so sure and more right about anything as when I felt the Spirit confirm to me that the Church was indeed true and that I needed to move forward.

That moment...that instant...changed my life!  It changed my eternity.  It changed everything.

It has also been the moment that has held me in this church when I wanted to leave.  Gaaaaaaaasp!!! What??!! You are asking yourself why I would ever want to leave.  Well, that is a story for another time.  One that involves many factors.

But nevertheless, the moment when the Spirit testified to me of the validity of the gospel has grounded me on so many occasions.  I am so very grateful for that moment and that I can still remember it so clearly.  I hope that I always do.

But I am getting ahead of myself.  Stop jumping ahead!  I'll get there, I promise.  Haha.

So I am 15.  I am praying like mad, and trying to have faith.  Check.  As I said time was passing.  A lot of time, in fact.  It had been over a year since I had started reading the BOM and attending church.  What is wrong with me?

Then I started taking the discussions with the Sister Missionaries.  I told them of my predicament.  They told me a story about a person who wanted to know the same thing.  He decided to get down on his knees and pray and he refused to get up until he had an answer.  They suggested I do the same.  I thought...oookaaaaaay.  Here goes nothing!  (Probably not the most faithful thought.  haha)  So all three of us knelt on my living room floor and I offered a prayer.  It was a very sincere prayer.  I felt full of faith as I waited and listened for an answer.  I believed I would get one.  The minutes ticked by.  I was getting nothing, still!  I started to despair.  I wondered again if I just wasn't good enough to get an answer.  I wondered again if this was all for naught.  Then my knees started to get tired.  Then I heard one of the sisters shift positions.  Then I wondered if all would be lost if I ended the prayer with no answer.  Then I wondered how long I should really kneel there if I was getting nothing.  A few more minutes?  An hour?  Into the night?  Was my faith measured in the amount of time that I knelt there?

Finally I had had enough.  I felt like if I knelt there any longer I would lose my mind and the small amount of testimony I had.  I said Amen and looked up fearful of what I would need to tell them.  When I looked at them, they were both no longer kneeling but sitting on the floor because we had been in there so long.

Awkward.

I told them I still didn't have an answer.  I felt embarrassed and apologized.  They smiled at me the way Sisters always do, with love.  They understood.  They didn't judge me.  We talked for a few more minutes and they told me they had to go.  I sort of shrugged my shoulders and decided that maybe I never would get an answer.

I don't remember if it was that night or at a later discussion with them (nothing more than a few days later), that Sister Joyce asked me to do something and made me a promise if I followed through.  She told me about someone else who had been promised that if he read the whole book of Enos (it's only 2.5 pages long) everyday for a month he would receive an answer to his question.  (I don't remember what was his question.)  She told me that it had worked for him.  I remember thinking...well that is good for him, but remember how this worked out last time?  With all of us having sore knees?

Yeah.

But then she turned to me and looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Alison.  I promise that if you do this every single day for a month, you WILL have an answer."

I told her that I would do it.  I am not going to lie to you though, I didn't have the most faith when I said it.  They left and I pondered on what she had said.  And then I thought...ya know what?  I believe that the missionaries are servants of God.  And servants of God run a huge risk in making promises to people like that.  I mean it wasn't an obscure "someday you'll get answer"...but an "I promise you will know in the next 30 days."  And if she is willing to make me a promise that I will get an answer in the next 30 days if I do this small thing (when I had been asking for over a year), she better know what she is talking about!  And she better have some kind of awesome powerful God behind her that is willing to come through for her.  Because that promise could have totally wrecked me, ya know?  I mean, imagine if after 30 days I still had no answer!  I think that might have shattered my faith.  I mean, really!  I was starting to get desperate.

So I plunged in.  I read the whole thing.  Everyday.  It didn't take more than about 5 days before I had the experience I described above.  A sure, strong, steady testimony.  I don't know what it is about those missionaries, but MAN, they are awesome!!!

And ya know what?  They are servants of God.  And He does back them up.  I have no doubt that she felt prompted by the Spirit to challenge me to do that.  Not one doubt!  I couldn't wait to see them again to tell them of my experience.

And the rest is history, friends!!





Oh and just so you know...Enos is still one of my favorite books in the BOM and I challenge you to put it to the test.  I make no promises to you like the missionaries did, but I will say that it can't hurt.  ;)