The Dark Knight

Dear Kit,
We have been friends for some time now.  I felt like we had a good relationship.  I had your oil changed regularly and your filters replaced.  I even had your brakes cleaned after you decided to jam a rock in them and not work right.  But never mind that.  Clearly you were listening when I told people that I was going to pay you off this year.  And I still plan to, next month, I hope.  And clearly you are not happy about that for some reason.  But let's try to work this out like adults.  Really, I know we can.

I know I pushed you a lot when we first got together, but you were young and wild and I thought we made amends for that.  And I know I drove you all over the freakin' country last month, but really you missed those long rides together.

I just don't think it is nice the way you are acting right now.  What can I do to make things better?  I would like to not have to pay the mechanic hundreds of dollars to rip apart your face and retrieve the CD you sucked in and won't give back now.  And it's really not funny that I have bought 3 auxiliary cords now because I just thought they kept breaking when really you just refuse to switch over to aux.  What do you have against my iPhone?

Really.  Lets talk about it.

Sincerely,
Your owner

P.S.  I had no plans of trading you in when I paid you off, if that's what this is all about.  But if I have to take you in to the dealer, I might just go home with someone else.  Think it over!