Monday, November 24, 2014

Hi. My name is Alex.

For those of you who love a good embarrassing story, this one is for you.

This is a story of how I embarrassed myself today at church.  Enjoy!

Let me set the scene for you.  The first hour of church had just ended and Sunday School was soon to begin.  There was some new guy (with a very manly beard) who I had never met before talking to my friend Amanda (who was standing next to me).

Me- "I don't think I've met you. Hi."
I reach out to shake his hand.
Allen- "Hi.  My name is Allen."
Us shaking hands.
Me- "Hi.  My name is Alex."
I paused at this point and looked at Amanda.
In my head:  Something about what I just said is not right.  Wait...What? Alex?
Me (looking at Amanda)- "Did I just say that my name is Alex?
Amanda- "Um...yes.  Yes you did."
Me (looking at Allen)- "Um...I am not really sure what just happened, but my name is not Alex.  I don't actually know why I told you my name is Alex.  Hahaha"
Allen staring at me like he's not sure how to respond to that.
Me, not offering up my real name because I was still in shock at giving him the wrong name.
Amanda- "Her name is Alison."
Me- "Yes.  This is my name.  Wait, what was your name again?  I completely forgot in the confusion of me telling you the wrong name."
Allen- "It's Allen."
Me- "Allen.  Got it."
Allen- "I am not very good with names so I will probably forget yours."
Me- "Well it's a good thing I gave you the wrong one then.  You won't need to remember that one. Hahaha."
I am the only one laughing.
Me (trying to salvage this conversation)- "Um so are you new, or just visiting?"
Allen- "Well, just visiting I guess.  I am from the Frisco Ward, but we (pointing to his friend) came today just to...try something new."
Me- "Is that like a nice way of saying you are ward hopping? hahaha"
He just stares at me.
In my head- WHAT?! Oh my gosh! Why would you say that?!  You are an idiot.  This is totally why you are single!
Allen- "Um I guess you could say that."
Me- "No.  No.  I was making a joke.  I was just kidding..."
(For those of you not familiar with the term "ward" or "ward hopping," "ward" is the term we, Mormons, use for our congregation or group with worship with every Sunday.  "Ward hopping" is a term for when people jump from one congregation to another fairly often for various reasons like boredom, avoiding someone, trying to find someone to date when you don't like anyone in your assigned ward...etc.  It is not usually something someone would want to be labeled as.)
Amanda (to the rescue)- "Well if you are going to ward hop, this is a great ward to come to.  We are pretty cool."
Me- "Yeah. So cool, we don't even give you our real names."
In my head- WHAT?  What are you saying?!  Why are you speaking?!  Oh my gosh.  Just run away.  Seriously, I should turn around and run away and never speak to a guy again.  This is so embarrassing!
Allen- "Well in that case you should just call me Jethro" (I can't actually remember if that is the fake name he used, but it was something similar.)
Me- "Hahahahahahahahahahaha" (Laughing way too much for what this situation warranted.)
And then he walked away.


My friends called me Alex for the rest of church.  lol

4 comments:

  1. Yes. Yes you did! This is the best story ever. #wannabeme

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  2. that is incredible. oh to have been a fly on the wall! I miss you so much sometimes. I want to live closer so we can be weird together again!

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  3. Nice work, AL. Way to keep things straight.

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