It's All Relative

The past few months have found me busy with lots of things to do.  Too much to do probably.  I have discovered amongst the craziness of it all, that I get done as much as I want to get done.  I prioritize things and I get done as much as I decide to do that day.  That may seem obvious to you, but when life is busy you feel like you "don't have time" for anything.  That's not really true.  You have time for what you make time for.

The past few months I have been "making time" for work, nannying, babysitting (for other families), a painting certification course, dieting (it takes time, trust!), working out, sleep (I guess), speaking in church, teaching RS (sunday school), institute class, family history class, a second (church) calling, making food (for said institute class), hanging out with friends...etc.

I thought I was busy.  There were moments when I thought, I just don't want to do this much anymore. I'm tired.  There were times when I thought, I can't do this.  Life is funny when you make statements like I can't.  It tests your limits sometimes.  It makes you see that you are much more capable than what you had previously thought.  I discovered this most recently when I got a text from a friend asking if I would watch her dog for the next week while she was out of town.  She seemed desperate and I don't really say no to people unless I genuinely cannot do what they are asking of me.  I clarified that this dog could go 8 hours without being let out to go to the bathroom.  Arrangements were made and 30 minutes later a white fluffy dog was at my apartment sniffing all the nooks and crannies.

A few months back I was sitting around talking with someone about jobs and finances when he said to me, "I am just now getting comfortable with what I make..."  I remembering thinking, if I only made what you make, I would be living the high life.  Before I could even make a face at him, he finished his thought, saying, "...for the life I have built.  It's all relative."  I have thought about that phrase several times since then.  He is comfortable with what he makes.  I would feel rich making that much.  And someone else who struggles to make much more than minimum wage would kill for my current salary.

I am just beginning to discover that we have the lives we build for ourselves.  Sure life can help you out with great experiences or opportunities.  You could be blessed with some amazing talent or ability.  Or life could be constantly handing you a crappy hand that has surely been stacked against you for some time now.  But in the end we all get to choose the life we make for ourselves.  We pick up the cards we have and we play the best we can with what we've got.  We create our own attitudes towards our situations.  We react how we choose to react.  We smile as much as we choose to smile.  We remember our blessings as often as we choose to remember them.

So I had this dog that I was now caring for who was making my life busier.  I was having to make multiple trips home a day in between my jobs and working out.  I was really beginning to resent living on the 3rd floor and just how tiring it is to walk up and down 36 steps a dozen times a day.  I was (for the first time since living here) annoyed with some distant neighbor who was letting their dog (faintly) bark at 1 am which was making "my" dog bark at 1 am and causing very little sleep to happen among anyone.  I didn't want to have to pick up poop from my floor or run up the 3 flights of stairs only to throw my stuff down, strap a lease to a dog and run back down the stairs and then pick up more poop from the grass.

I remember multiple times telling a friend that all I wanted was my busy life back sans dog.  Funny how the "busy" before was all I wished for after I got busier.

The dog did go home eventually and I felt relief for being back to my 14 hour work days and nothing else.