Sometimes I Wonder

about people I don't even know.  Do you ever wonder about such things? Maybe that makes me weird. I don't know.

There has been one woman who I have wondered a lot about lately.  I am not sure what has triggered it, but she pops into my mind every now and then.  And my mind wonders all about her.

I don't know her name, or if she even living anymore.  But, I can tell you that she played a significant role in my life.

Here is why.

She is my biological grandmother.  The biological mother of my dad.  Some of you may know that my dad is adopted.  So is my aunt (his sister).  They did not come from the same biological parents.  Most of the time I forget they were adopted.  If you saw them together though, you would probably be able to tell that they aren't related.  Their demeanor is very different.  They look different.  But maybe it is only me that notices.

My dad was adopted by my grandparents when he was just days old.  They were never able to conceive their own children and they were so grateful for the wonderful gift that they were given.  Twice.  My dad has only talked about being adopted a few times that I can remember.  I have heard him tell the story of how my sweet grandparents, Mary and Bill, came to be his parents.  And only once have I heard him respond to the question of whether he ever looked for his biological parents.  He said with pure conviction that he could not have been raised by two better people and that his "parents" are his parents.  End of story.  He will tell you that he never even considered looking.  Because it didn't matter.  He had everything he needed.  I have never sensed any insecurity or missing piece because he was given up.  My aunt, however, did look for her biological mother and found her.  I think that my aunt would tell you the same, that my grandparents were great parents and were her parents as well.  But I think she just needed to find something she was looking for.  And I think that is courageous.  I think that decision is very personal and has to fit each person uniquely.

Like I said, I don't know why I have wondered so much about this woman lately, other than I have some friends that have just adopted a beautiful little girl.  And I am so happy for them.

But, back to this woman.  I wonder if she is still alive.  I wonder what her name is.  What she looks like, or looked like when she was young?  I want to know her story.  I want to know why she gave up her baby.  Was it her decision? Or was she made to give up this baby? This was 1950, afterall.  Unmarried women were not able to keep their babies a lot of times.  I am of course assuming she was young and unmarried.  Because why would a married woman give up her child?  But more than her decisions in that spring of 1950, I long to know who she was as a person.  Was she a nice girl?  Was she stubborn, like me? Was she blonde? (Both my dad and I are blondes) Did she get married some day?  Did she have more children?  Did her husband treat her well?  Did she have a career outside the home? Did her children call her when she was old and take care of her?  Did they know about her first baby? Did she live in Muncie? Did I ever unknowingly see her or meet her?

There is a small part of me that is growing to love this woman that I don't know.  Which I think is a little weird, but okay I guess.  I very much love the grandparents that I know, and I don't think that loving this woman takes away from that.  I also wonder if someday, after this life, I will get to meet her.  I will never be directly sealed to her, but I do hope that I get to meet her.  And talk with her and give her a hug, and thank her for being so courageous.  I would tell her that she did something for her baby that was wonderful.  That he was well taken care of and loved like their own.  And her sacrifice was the very best parenting decision she could make for him.

Ahhh...the mysteries that await us in this life...and the next.

Now, if I could write that book, that one might sell.  :)

#53

Make Pasta from Scratch

And it is ooooohhh so delicious.

Egg. Flour. A tiny bit of water.  Perfection!

 Drying the pasta.

 Chicken Noodle Soup! Mmm Mmm Good!

Which one will be next??

A quote or two

As you know, if you have been reading my blog, I am trying to write a book.  I'm not entirely sure I want to even look into publishing, but who knows, right?

I was looking up how to publish a book today.

I found a website called: How to Get a Book Published in 10 Not So Easy Steps

The website is here.

I am getting close to the middle of my book and I feel lost most of the time, which causes me to not want to write.  I found this paragraph helpful.

"Most people slag off in the middle of the project. There's an excitement about beginning, and this will sustain you for a while. It's at the middle where you start to fear that you've painted yourself into a corner, that your work isn't good enough, that you will never finish. You've got to suck it up and work through this middle patch. When you hit the home stretch things will pick up again."

This is good to know. Here is to pushing through! 

Cheers! 

Did you know?

What the different lengths of books are called?  I didn't really, so I looked it up.

Short Short Story/Flash Fiction- Less than 1,000 words
Short Story- 1,000-7,500 words

Novelette- 7,500-17,500 words

Novella-17,500-40,000 words (or some sources say)

            - 10,000-70,000 words

Novel- Greater than 70,000 words

You can find different word counts from different sources, but these were the most common that I found.  

I am hoping my book will be novel length.  I am shooting for 75,000 words.  And just incase you were wondering how long that is, 75,000 words is roughly 250-300 pages in a published book.  

We shall see.

Mama Shad in Texas!

My mama came to visit me.  First time visiting, and first time in Texas (other than my cousin's wedding 3 years ago in Houston) We had fun.  Well, at least I did.  I hope she did too.  She said she did, so I'm going to go with that.  haha

I asked her when she got here what she wanted to do.  She said that she didn't care.  She just wanted to spend it with me.  Awwwww....she is so cute.

I made a color coded schedule of what we would do, could do, and should do.  I was just a little bit excited. It was also nice to be on vacation and not have to be the one traveling.  That never happens.

We visited with my cousins who live in the next little town over.  Literally like 20 minutes from me.  You have probably never heard me talk about these cousins.  It's really just because I didn't know them well growing up.  They are cousins from my uncle's (my mom's brother) first marriage.  Not that that would make me not see them, but my uncle is 11 years older than my mom, had all of his kids at a young age, and my mom had us (primarily me) when she was older.  This makes these cousins a lot older than me.  They were all in college, moved out and/or married by the time I was 5 years old.  And all over the country no less.  You get the picture.  My mom hadn't seen most of them in 15+ years.  So that was fun.  They reminisced about funny stories, grandparents, and who-is-where, and doing-what.

We ate lunch one day with my "Texas family" Tom, Debby, and Breanna (my old roommate).  She really likes them.  She also spent some time with Jason, and Jason's brother (who was also visiting for a few days), and met Jerald.  Jason might like my mom more than he likes me.  Which says something.  ;) When I asked what his plans were for when my mom would be here, without even thinking he said "my schedule is free!!" He wanted to pick her up with me, from the airport.  And he calls her his mother-in-law TO HER FACE! Who does that??

Jason, my mom, and I went to downtown Dallas one evening.  We walked around and ate at a spaghetti restaurant.

Next we went to the Fort Worth Water Gardens (minus Jason).  They are very cool!

 My mom says in the picture she just looks "hot!" As in its 105 degrees and we are outside! She does NOT like heat.  Therefore, she will not be moving here anytime soon.

 This is the "Active Pool" and you can go down inside it.  I was terrified going down those steps.  My mom really had to hold my hand.

 This is the "Accelerated Pool".  The water spraying up is supposed to look like they create flat tiles you can walk on. (If you could walk on water I suppose.) It is easier to see in person.

 This is the "Quiet Pool." This one truly looked like an oasis away from the world.  Fabulous.  And it was quiet which was a little weird because we were in downtown FW with highways on all sides.

And then we went to the Stock Yards.  This is the cattle being driven in.  Cool.

My mom also helped me cover some new chairs I had just bought off craigslist (with matching table).  The wood is a cherry.  You cannot tell me this fabric is not hideous.  It just looked so bad with the color of the table.

Before

 What we found when we took the fabric off.  Nasty!!!

 After! I love it!

Then I also painted part of my wall in my craft area, with magnetic paint.  It was a serious pain!

And then made my mom some kabobs! Delish!

My mama oversaw all the projects.  :) She also read 3 of the Twilight books in her spare time.  What?!?! My mom is seriously a speed reader.  She swears she skipped "some parts." Im not buying it.

I wore her out.

And I totally cried when I dropped her off at the airport.  Once I was alone, of course.  Love love love her!