Sunday, July 8, 2012

Those awkward moments in life...

We all have them.  Those moments when you want to bury you head in the sand or disappear into nothingness until everyone forgets about this moment forever.  Usually when one of these awkward moments arrives i do one of two things.  I either a) try to explain why i did what i did, which usually results in me rambling, telling too much info and then furthering my already awkward situation into something horrifying; or b) just ignore it like it never happened and hope the other person/people will do the same and soon forget all about it.

Last week i chose option B. Which I feel was probably the better choice, but it was still super embarrassing.

In case you were wondering what happened, (i know you were, dont lie.) Ill just tell you.

I did some traveling around the 4th of July holiday.  I went to visit my cousin in Houston.  He and his wife just had a baby and my aunt was going to be visiting too, so i thought it would be a perfect time to see everyone.  Their little girl is soooooo adorable.  Like, i briefly contemplated sneaking her into my bag and taking her home.  She was so snugly.  Mmmmm, babies...



Moving on...So when i travel i like to be comfortable.  I left my cousins house wearing my pajamas because first of all they were cooler (temperature) than jeans, and it is so freaking hot outside.  And really, who wants to be all uncomfortable when they are in a car for several hours.  So i get on the road and then i decided my bra was really bothering me (you know how bras can be sometimes), sooooooo....yeah, i took it off and put it in my purse.  No big deal.  No one was going to see me anyways, right?

Wrong.

So I'm driving. Minding my own business. Listening to music.  Going 5 over the speed limit.  Then i notice a cop on the side of the road.  I pass him without thinking much about it.  I looked in my rear view mirror and see him whip out behind me and flip his lights on.  I was confused but i pulled over.  He came to my passenger side window (since it was the furthest from the road).  He asked if i knew why he had pulled me over.  I told him i honestly didn't know.  He said, "Well ma'am you were going 80 in a 75. Why were you going so fast?" I will admit 80 is fast just as a general rule, but that isn't what he meant.  He wanted to know why i was going so fast OVER the speed limit.  I was really confused then.  So i asked him to repeat how fast i was going, because i clearly must have heard him wrong.  He says "80 in a 75" again and again asks why i was going so fast.  I honestly couldn't think of anything intelligent to say at this point.  It has never occurred to me that going 5 over was something you could get pulled over for.  So i "ummm-ed" and "uhhhhhh-ed" a few times before this little gem came out of my mouth.  I said the only thing that i could honestly think of. "Um...well, i guess i didn't think that 5 over was that big of a deal."

WHAT?! who says that to a cop?? Oh my gosh. I am soooooo getting a ticket, right?

Wrong again.

He cheerfully says, "okay! Ill just write you a warning...but go the speed limit, okay?"  To which I thanked him and said "okay."

THEN...He asks for my license and proof of insurance.  And then it happens...

That unsuspecting awkward moment we all dread.

In all the craziness of being pulled over and being confused, i had completely forgotten that i had put said bra in my purse.  So without thinking i reach in my purse/bag and start pulling stuff out to get to my wallet.  Guess what the first thing that comes out is? Yeah...my bright yellow bra.  hahahaha.  I'm pretty sure the world stopped for just a second because as SOON as he saw it he stopped shuffling around with his warrant stuff, flashes his flashlight on it and promptly asks,

"Ma'am, where you headed tonight?"
"Umm...home. I mean, Lewisville...Texas." oh my gosh, i sound so dumb.
"Uh huh, and where are you coming from?"
"Uhh...Houston?"
He looks me dead in the face, probably sees my utter embarrassment and then says..."okay.  I'm going to need that license and insurance."

I am sure my face was cherry red.  I felt like i had just been questioned for suspicion of prostitution or something (the way he looked at me).  I waited until he walked away to run my license before i awkwardly stuffed my bra back in my bag.  I sorta wanted to die right then.

but it makes for a good story, i suppose.  lol

1 comment: