The Life of a Collector

The other day when I was at work a story popped into my head from my past.  As I think you all know, I used to work in collections.  Mortgage collections.  And the job is crazy.  No...it's really crazy most of the time.  So much so that getting yelled at over the phone may not be a daily event, but its also not a noteworthy event either.  Meaning it happens often enough, and at least half the people you talk to are some form of upset, that getting yelled at it just another job description.

There are stories, however, that are noteworthy.  We (my team members and I) would share stories of crazy borrowers, but it was not the majority of what we talked about in our downtime.

But there was this one lady who popped into my head the other day and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous our conversation was.  And actually our conversation was ridiculous enough that I had to mute my phone a few times to keep from laughing while the conversation was happening.

So let me set the scene.

It was probably 2+ years ago and I was just minding my own business, doing my work.  Work included making phone calls to borrowers who were behind on their mortgage.  At the time I think I worked mostly east coast accounts.  I don't remember which state I was calling, but somewhere over there is probably a safe bet.  On this particular account the only person on the mortgage was a man, so when I pulled the account up the only name I see is a man's name.  I wouldn't know if he were married or not and if he was, what his wife's name was (unless a previous collector had noted it, which no one had).  The rules go like this: If he is married, I can speak to his wife as long as she can verify their address and his SSN (even though she isn't on the mortgage), and then I just have to take her word for it that they are married.

So I make the call. The borrower is something over 12 months behind on the mortgage (because those were the only accounts I called at the time).

A woman answers.  I don't know that the man is married or who is answering so I just ask for the borrower.

Here is how our conversation went:

Woman: Hello.
Me: Hi, may I please speak to Mr. _________  __________ (I can't remember his name, nor would I  put it on here.)
Woman: Who is this!?!?
Me: My name is Alison, and I am calling from Nationstar.  Is Mr. _______ ________ there?
Woman: How dare you call this number looking for my husband!!
Me: So you are his wife?
Woman: Yes I am his wife!!  Who the hell are you?
Me: Like I said my name is Alison and I am calling with Nationstar about the mortgage.
Woman: I KNOW you are one of my husband's whores!  I know you are sleeping with him!!! (she is screaming now)
Me: Ma'am.  I am calling with the mortgage company about your mortgage.  Can I speak with you about the mortgage? (I am sort of laughing under my breath at this point, because...really?? I just told her who I was)
Woman: What about the mortgage?
Me: Can I have you tell me your mailing address and your husband's SSN to verify who you are?
Woman: I'm not telling you all that.  I knew you were one of his whores!! You are having sex with my husband!!!  Don't you call this number looking for him.  And by the way he's not just sleeping with you.  He has lots of whores!!!
Me: Ma'am...I am really calling from the mortgage company.  I can talk to you about your mortgage if you can just identify the information and we can more forward.  
Woman: Well, my husband deals with the mortgage...I don't.  You will have to talk to him.
Me: Okay.  Is there a better time to call him back?  Or a better number to reach him at?  Maybe a cell phone number?
Woman: Well, shouldn't you already have his cell phone number since you are sleeping with him??
Me: (OMG!!! are we back here again??  But really, I am just laughing now, but she is just being ridiculous) I ensure you that I work for your mortgage company and that is all I am calling to speak to him about.  May I have his cell phone number?
Woman: No!
Me: Alright...well, I will just have to call back another time for him.  I hope you have a better day.  
(Call ended)

Sorry for the language.  I am pretty sure she used a few other colorful words in there too, but I don't exactly remember.

That is the first and only time I have ever been accused of sleeping with a married man.  And really, it shouldn't be funny, but it just was.  Like...I told her we could talk about the mortgage and then she just went right back to accusing me of things and calling me a whore.  I did feel bad for her though.  I mean, it didn't sound like their marriage was very stable, and it sounded like she had already caught him cheating before...sooooooo that sucks.

I don't remember if I ever had to talk to her again.  If I did, it was nothing as memorable.

Ahh...the life of a collector.

I do not miss it.














Ever.