High Occupancy Vehicle

*A disclaimer: I metioned on facebook the other day that i have been writing this post in my head for a couple of weeks now. I didnt post it before now, because I felt like its story is a little sad and pathetic. But, whatever...I guess i dont care.

I drive a lot. Half an hour each way to work. (it used to be an hour) I have been going to church 35 minutes away from my apartment. The bf lives about 35 minutes away. And i seem to be driving him around a lot lately. I joke that i cant afford to date him due to gas prices. :) But its worth the gas to spend time with him.

I get stuck in traffic a lot too. It makes me a little crazy sometimes. But i deal, with little to no road rage. ;) I get jealous though. I see the cars in the HOV lane just flying by probably laughing at all of us one-person-occupied-vehicles. Ive never been able to drive in the HOV lane. I am always alone in the car. I am not sure why, but when i am in the car, i do some of my best thinking. I can feel the Spirit pretty easily as well. And i love to drive, so im happy. But i am not going to lie, their have been times where i wanted nothing more than for someone else to be in the car with me, just purely for company. I sometimes imagine who it would be, and what we would talk about. In the past i would sometimes think of some faceless guy who would be sitting next to me, holding my hand, and smiling at me, as we talked about life...or something. It would make me sad sometimes to look over at the empty seat and know there was no one to fill it.

Their were also times when i would be with the family that i used to live with here in Texas. Tom and Debby would be in the front two seats of the van. Bre and her bf would be on the far back bench, probably snuggling. And i would be in the middle row with an empty seat next to me. Usually we would be going somewhere far away, if it was all of us. Like to Tom's family's house for Christmas, or to NM to go skiing. I would again look over at the empty seat and feel like it was a metaphor for my life. Me, surrounded by couples, wondering if i even remembered what it was like to be in a relationship, because it had been so long. Again, my sad face would come out.

So 2 Sundays ago, the boy called. I asked what he was doing. He told me he had dropped off his car to be looked at and he was waiting on his ride to come get him and take him home. He mentioned that his ride hadn't called in a while, though, and he wondered if he would really come get him. I offered to come pick him up. He accepted. I went and picked him up and we headed back to his house. On the way, though, a friend of his called and told him that his car had broken down and asked if he could come get him and take him to work that night. I told him i didn't mind going to get his friend. So we changed directions and headed towards his friend's place. He leaned over and pointed at the HOV lane and said, 'you can get in the HOV lane. we will be on this interstate for a little while.'

For the first time in the weeks that i had been dating him, i realized that i had enough people in my car to use the forbidden HOV lane. I was so excited! I think i even said out loud, "oh my gosh, I can finally use the HOV because you are with me!" he just smiled at me, and said, "yes you can." It may be a small thing that i get to use the HOV lane every now and then, but to me it was huge. (i know. i told you this was pathetic. *See disclaimer.) He was even holding my hand at the time :) And again felt like it was a new metaphor for my life. I am not alone anymore. I mean, i am still alone a lot. but i have a guy who thinks about me, wants me around, calls me, hangs out with me, and makes me feel good. great, even! And...i get to pass by all the traffic and people alone in their cars. haha.

Here is a much anticipated picture of me and him. Don't be fooled by his non-smile. He smiles a lot. And has adorable wrinkles that form around his mouth when he does. Love it! He was super tired though. it was super late. and he doesn't really like pictures. Some day i will get a good one of us. :)